A talk with depression
Coming into the second part of this series discussing depression and ironically the weather in my hometown has been overcast and rainy. Often I see friends of mine suffering with Seasonal Affective Disorder when the seasons turn, struggling with sleep and getting erratic and restless. Although it is treatable, but it still can play havoc with getting into a routine. Often getting out of bed is a big part of the battle as the negative thoughts isolate you.
I would describe it as being trapped by your own apathy. Things just keep spiralling and flooding the brain constantly. Its suffocating and debilitating in equal proportion, but its hard for healthier people to see how horrid and subtle it can be. I still struggle with crowds through my anxiety, but I’m fine with being in front of them because the element that I fear is loss of control. Either way as I spoke about yesterday, medication helps me get on with day and move past that block, but it doesn’t end there.
Therapy
I will say as someone who doesn’t have a lot of money, it proved to be very difficult. I’ve had group sessions, terrible one-on-one sessions and struggles finding the right therapist/counsellor. Finding counselling through my other issues (anxiety and PTSD) took time.
The NHS wasn’t great as they only had the basics, rather than more detailed and substantial therapies. I eventually found therapy after a six month wait with RSVP (Rape and Sexual Violence Project) which proved extremely powerful and life changing. I ended up taking a brief break before life changes meant I went back into therapy for another six months.
Now, I’m far from cured but better at managing all my conditions. Next time, I’ll let you know the other things I discovered to keep depression at bay or even stop it from gaining ground all together.
Until next time, #embraceinfinity.
