Autumn Leaves

Today is the the official beginning of autumn. Although the weather is a lot warmer than expected for this time of year, the leaves are already falling outside my flat and conkers and acorns cover the pavement. The times I’ve walked and felt the brisk air hit my chest is getting common. I’ve occasionally had to switch the heating on and maybe, even think about layers of clothing.

The end of summer is met with sadness by me, especially as this one feels like its been stolen away by COVID. However, I know this is always a sensitive time of year for me. Lots of memories start to creep in of people departed. Hard memories that leave a bitter taste in my mouth, but this year feels different.

I don’t know how, but after performing an exercise where I wrote an abridged summary of my life so far, I feel melancholic but also grateful that I’m here. I could let me stare into the abyss of the past drive me mad, but I’ve still clawed through and still have a heart that is still beating and loving and caring.

I do think more of the descending leaves changing colours. The slow sleep that deciduous trees begin and how many cycles I’ve seen in my own life. It makes all the hard things in the human experience seem trivial and empty.

It brings me down to earth and remind me of my own personal reasons to live. To aid, to coach, to inspire, to on occasion make people think and a smidgen of performance when the moment strikes.

Until next time #embraceinfinity folks.

Aquila Hope is a transformative coach, black trans activist, speaker, podcaster and songwriter. They’re found through Instagram, Twitter, Medium and their own website. Their podcast ‘Grasp At The Root’ can be found on Anchor, Spotify, Google Podcast, Apple Podcasts or wherever podcasts are distributed. Aquila lives on the outskirts of Birmingham, enjoys self improvement, creating music, good coffee and pizza.