Death and Reflections

Yesterday on my birthday I broke down in front of my partner. Even though I was enjoying the day, the pain of loss just appeared like someone just shot me with a gun. The pain stings and you suddenly realise what has happened to you. You are sitting in a well of your own ‘blood’ and pain.

My friend died suddenly five years. I still have a lot of regret over how things ended with her but it just re-appeared like it was yesterday.

I’m not going to reflect on what I lost as much what I’ve gained since then. An appreciation of life in its fullest.

I’ve grown and learnt about myself and business over the last two years. It might not earn me tons of money over these preliminary years, but its been here I know what a client looks like and what a client doesn’t look like.

One of the things I remember her telling me was to ‘Be More Aquila’ I had no idea what that meant at that point. However, now I can say I am way more me and will become more like me as time progresses.

I’m less of a follower and more of a leader.

I’m less a copcat and more about creating something that uniquely myself.

With that, I hope everyone learns from their most vulnerable moments. Its raw, brutal and unpleasant but there is a ‘rebirth’ waiting from it.

Until next time, #embraceinfinity and #setyourselfonfire

Aquila Hope is a transformative coach, black trans activist, speaker, podcaster and songwriter. They’re found through Instagram, Twitter, Medium and their own website. Their podcast ‘Grasp At The Root’ can be found on Anchor, Spotify, Google Podcast, Apple Podcasts or wherever podcasts are distributed. Aquila lives on the outskirts of Birmingham, enjoys self improvement, creating music, good coffee and pizza.