Restless

Now we’re into the last quarter of the year, I’ve been thinking a lot about how lockdown has affected the population and what has happened since lockdown is easing. I’m trying to value every moment and squeeze all I can out of it. Doesn’t stop bad things happening, but its definitely switched how I view the world accordingly.

I talked a ridiculously good game about #embraceinfinity but now…it has been tested and has come out a lot more resolute. I know I’m flawed, I could lose some fat off the stomach, but it doesn’t stop me loving where I’m at and those who love me regardless of my physique. The scariest thing I’ve noticed is how people have just rushed onwards in a restless fashion.

I feel so restless
Ain’t got no interest
I couldn’t care less…

I can understand why people want to do it, but I also feel like they’re travelling backwards and struggling to recapture something of what life was before. It reminded me of a New Order lyric ‘I feel so restless/Ain’t got no interest/I couldn’t care less…’ from the song Restless. Everyone’s caught up into their comfortable lives that they forget: there is still a pandemic going on.

I have known people who have died from COVID and it doesn’t discriminate age, gender or anything. However, some people will take that risk regardless and try to politicise the wearing of a mask (which in my opinion is ridiculous)

I know I’m writing this from a cafe but its all social distanced. However, I’m way more conscious about where I’m going. I’ve got hand sanitiser in my backpack, I only cuddle my closest and dearest and I spend way more time at home than ever. I socialise, but the last time I did that was last weekend in the open air of Hyde Park rather than indoors.

What matters now goes beyond the need for just making sure the economy is running smoothly. Its about making sure we all are on board to help each other, not in a half assed manner but truly keep an eye on how things are going. I know in a capitalist society that’s a big ask, but its the only way forward to stop any further lockdowns happening.

Also, we cannot go backward anymore. Our world has now been transformed like all the other pandemics did to their generations before. Until there’s a vaccine, we have to realise all we have is literally today and we should really embrace that.

Until then folks, try it. #embraceinfinity

Aquila Hope is a transformative coach, black trans activist, speaker, podcaster and songwriter. They’re found through Instagram, Twitter, Medium and their own website. Their podcast ‘Grasp At The Root’ can be found on Anchor, Spotify, Google Podcast, Apple Podcasts or wherever podcasts are distributed. Aquila lives on the outskirts of Birmingham, enjoys self improvement, creating music, good coffee and pizza.