The Glory of the Vogue Ball
I’ve just finished a very intense process that I undertook with no idea how it would turn out. Two months of learning to walk a catwalk, coming up with ideas, figuring out characters, buying clothing and the actual event itself. I’m still processing things while I write, but I learnt (and in some cases returned) so much. I found a new queer family, learnt to lean on each other and support one another even with nerves flowing through our veins.
The culmination of all the hard work was extremely difficult. My mind was straight away giving me a mental smackdown. Trying to remind me of all the mistakes, my size, my looks, anything and everything to try and make me shrink. However, I know this is pretty normal because like any creative, you’re the biggest critic of your creation. The key thing to do is to practice, but not practice too much and then get ready for the show.
What was the most amusing about it all was the rest of the house are mostly younger than me. I ended up sitting in the dressing room post briefing reading a book and getting my makeup done. There was plenty of alcohol (even though I don’t drink) but we got some music going and enjoyed ourselves while we got our make up done for the show.
We all got a chance to have one last dress rehearsal. My own performance was a lip sync to ‘Nina Cried Power’ by Hozier. I thought this was a very political track, but the more time I dedicated to it, the more it moved people. Especially as one of the organisers walked over and gave me a big hug!
Later in the day there was a short briefing just to do the last few checks before the doors were opened to the public. At this moment I felt I could let a little adrenaline go. I could feel the queasiness in my stomach and once the briefing finished, I went to the loo to relieve my nerves. After that I just remained in my little bubble until the show started.
What followed could be only described as an outpouring of queer power. A celebration of all queer people in all different shapes, sizes and abilities. There was fierceness, coquettishness, technical prowess and buckets of sass. I never really experienced that in any form since. It was an outpouring of love and visibility, it made me believe anything is possible for queer people.
It still resonates with me a week later. It shifted something deep inside and I find it very hard to return to the same mindset. Its been a beautiful evolution of my own self awareness that I hope to pass onto all my clients. The idea of a world where none of us are discriminated might be a dream to some but I hope to embody a little of what I’ve seen.
Until then, I’ll be learning and spreading the love I’ve felt myself.
#embraceinfinity
