The Journey
Can anybody remember a song by Lily Allen called ‘Alfie’? Its a rather scathing takedown of her younger brother Alfie Allen from doing some of your typical teenage things like playing video games or smoking too much cannabis. However, it was the announcement of Alfie getting nominated for an Emmy for his role as Theon Greyjoy in Game of Thrones made me think. It made me think about the sheer level of work, study and time he sunk into one single character over a twelve year period.
Between ‘Alfie’ being released in 2007 and playing the role of Theon Greyjoy in Game of Thrones in 2011, Alfie Allen acted in smaller roles across movies, the small screen until getting a role in an unknown, medieval fantasy period drama based on a series of books by George R. R. Martin. I can imagine people probably scoffed at the idea, told him to ‘get a proper job’ of some sort until enough seasons passed and enough attention was gained.
I remember being asked to make a speech for Trans Day of Remembrance at my local LGBT centre in 2017, I had no idea what I was doing! I was still getting people telling me I had to go back to 9–5 once my mental health improved. I had all sorts of things going in my own personal life that didn’t believe I could do this, but I threw myself into it anxiety, depression, PTSD and all.
Then again, I don’t think I really knew where I would land at this point in 2009. I was busy just trying to make my way. A lot of people seem attached to events because its really easy to do so (got to x, attain y, obtain Z!) but the sooner we realise its the things between that hold more than the goal.
For example, I learned a lot more about speaking in front of people since 2017. I learnt to engage one of my other disciplines (performing) into getting myself grounded and comfortable on a stage with eyes focused on you. Has it stopped me feeling nervous before a talk? Not at all! However it has helped me be aware of how I feel when I get close to speaking/performing so I can prepare accordingly.
Despite all that, I know that its easy to forget what stories can be told on the way to something great. So I remind myself what’s great now so I don’t worry as much and enjoy the madness, the adventures, the whole thing whilst growing and helping others to grow as well.
Until next time, don’t forget we all had to start somewhere.
#embraceinfinity
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Aquila Hope is a holistic coach, trans activist and artist born and raised in Birmingham. They primarily work in raising awareness of queer trans people of colour’s struggles, racial issues, gender identity, decolonialism and self awareness in our current age of late stage capitalism.
They also enjoy a good pizza, Frank Ocean, queer cinema, coffee and socialism…not all at the same time. Aquila has been involved in the Ageing With Pride campaign (2018–19) spoken at Trans Day of Remembrance in 2017/2018 and as part of the TAG exhibition at Shout Festival 2018.
